


Tanglewood Tree

by amaronith



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Identity Porn, M/M, Multi, Spideytorch Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 15:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11603382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaronith/pseuds/amaronith
Summary: but love is a light in the sky, and an unspoken lie, and a half whispered prayerOr: what happens when Johnny becomes fuck buddies with the guy he's been in love with for years.





	Tanglewood Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [this](http://spideytorch-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/628.html?thread=19572#cmt19572) prompt on the Spideytorch kink meme.
> 
> This has been beta-read (by the ever lovely Polaris), but I am also posting this from my phone because my laptop is on life support right now, but I wanted to get this up, so please forgive any mistakes there may be!
> 
> There is another version of this posted to the kinkmeme, but I added more to it, so this is the final, definitive version of this fic.

When Johnny thought about it, it was easy to see how he had ended up like this, where this whole mess between him and Spider-Man had started.  
  
The Story of their friendship was weird, because they hated each other, at first. Then it was grudging respect. And then Spidey had just. Started showing up at Baxter to hang out with Johnny. And it was fine - it was! - but it had been easier for Johnny to ignore his crush on Spidey when they hated each other. And then it had been easier to stamp down on his crush on him when Spidey mentioned his girlfriend, because Johnny did not want to be That Guy.  
  
(It also had been easier to deny having A Thing for Spidey, because he was Obviously Not Johnny’s Type when they had met - all skin and bones with a chip on his shoulder and a tongue sharper than most knives.  
  
Then Spidey went from bony and obnoxious to lean, like a dancer’s body, with _abs_ and _shoulders_ and _arms_ from all the web-swinging, and Johnny knew he was in trouble, then.)  
  
So when Johnny asked him to meet via flaming sky writing, Johnny brought food and they shot the shit and it was fine. It was good! Maybe even great, one could say. And he continued to ignore the little pang in his heart that made him want more, because Spidey was the first best friend Johnny ever had and he wouldn't give that up for anything.  
  
So why would this time be different?  
  
He sat on the crown and kicked his feet as he waited, take out cooling at his side.  
  
There was a thump and a groan as Spidey flopped next to him. “ _Ugh_.”  
  
“Traffic on the river, Spidey?” Johnny asked, amused.  
  
“Attempted bank robbery. Thanks for waiting, Johnny.” Johnny tossed him a perfectly heated burger, which he caught easily. “Oh, you love me.”  
  
 _More than anything_ , Johnny had thought to himself.  
  
Once he had eaten, however, Spider-Man had been all coiled tension and twitchy, pacing and agitated.  
  
“Spidey, you okay? You seem… kinda tense.” “Tense” was a good term for it.  
  
“Hard up” was another.  
  
Spider-Man sighed. “Sorry, Johnny. This is probably _extremely_ TMI, but I essentially got cock-blocked from a fight with that damn bank robbery and now I’ve got all this pent up… _whatever_ , and I kinda want to either fight someone or fuck them.”  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes. “So call up your girlfriend.”  
  
“You mean the one I’m no longer seeing? That one?”  
  
“Sex toys?” Johnny offered.  
  
“ _It’s not the same_ ,” Spidey hissed at him.  
  
Johnny stared at him for a minute. “...do you want _me_ to help?”  
  
“By what, fixing me up with a Torchette? Because fucking a superhero groupie is never a good idea, Johnny. And not a lot of people are gonna be down for fucking a guy in a mask.”  
  
 _Oh Spidey, I am so happy you don't Google spoof porn of yourself._ “By offering you a convenient partner,” he said. “That partner being myself.”  
  
He stared at him from behind him mask for a long moment. “You’d… do that for me?”  
  
“I say this as your friend, but also a guy with a lot of admiration for the male form: it's not like you don't do anything for me in that skintight number, Spidey.” He shrugged and spread his hands. “I'm down for being friends with benefits if you are.”  
  
His hands went to his mask. “But- I can't-”  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes. “There are, like, five different ways we can deal with that that I can think of off the top of my head just now. Relax, you don't need to tell me your civvie ID.” It hurt, a little, that he wouldn't, but Johnny understood why he kept it secret so long into their friendship.  
  
“So, what, I just climb into your window when I want to bone?”  
  
“Sure, why not? I mean, I’d like it if you sent me a heads up text, first, so I can clean up a bit, let you know if I’m planet-side or whatever, but if you wanna lay naked in my bed in wait for me that's cool too.”  
  
Spidey snorted rudely and it should not have been as attractive as it was. “Oh yes, me in nothing but a mask and a smile, right?”  
  
A different kind of heat tugged low in his gut and Johnny gave himself a shake. “If you want.”  
  
Spidey watched him for a long moment. “...so you wanna go now, or…?”  
  
Johnny snickered. “Unless you want to fuck on top of the Statue of Liberty without condoms _or_ lube, yeah, let's go, Spidey.”  
  
Spidey nodded. “Hey, Johnny?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
Johnny grinned at him and winked, setting off a spark as he did so. “What are friends for?”  
  
“I’ll see you back at your place, okay?”  
  
Johnny watched him go, licking his lips as Spidey neatly dove off the edge of the crown.  
  
Damn.  
  
He was in _so much_ trouble.  
  
\--  
  
Johnny took the long way around to get back to the Baxter Building, knowing he could get there before Spider-Man did and needing to give himself a little time to stop freaking out about… whatever the fuck was happening now.  
  
 _Be cool, Storm. It’s a friends with benefits thing. He doesn’t need to know you’re in love with him.  
  
_ By the time he got back to the Baxter Building, Spidey was already there in his bedroom, peeling out of the top of his costume and _somehow_ managing to keep his mask on - his gloves, webshooters, and boots were already abandoned in a pile on the floor.  
  
“I could get used to this,” Johnny chuckled, watching Spidey's blush spread down his cheeks to his chest.  
  
“Get over here and touch me. I’m gonna start humping the headboard at this rate,” he half growled, flopping back on Johnny’s bed to wriggle out of his tights and underwear.  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes and stripped out of his uniform, grinning when he heard Spidey's breath catch as he tugged his shirt off. “I knew you thought I was hot.”  
  
“Oh for fuck's sake Johnny, I have _eyes_.”  
  
“You do? It's hard to tell, what with the mask and all.” Johnny dropped his pants and briefs - he’d be more embarrassed about already being mostly hard if he wasn't watching Spidey’s dick twitch every time Johnny moved.  
  
“ _Yes_ , Johnny. I have eyes and they work and you are very, _very_ pretty, now _please_ get over here so I can plow you through your damn mattress.”  
  
Johnny blinked. “Oh, is that where this is going? I thought this was just naked movie watching. Maybe a game of cards.”  
  
Spidey growled and lunged, faster than Johnny could react, and the next thing he knew he was flat on his back and Spider-Man was on his hands and knees over him, nudging Johnny’s chin up and back with his nose so that he could suck a hickey to Johnny’s throat.  
  
 _This is everything I wanted and not at all what I had hoped for_ , he thought to himself distantly before letting out an embarrassing whine as Spidey bit down on Johnny’s throat. “ _Ah-!_ ”  
  
Spider-Man chuckled, low and aroused and it sent shivers down Johnny’s spine. “Like that, huh?”  
  
“Sp-spidey-!”  
  
Suddenly Johnny was flipped over onto his front and Spider-Man was going through his bedside drawer. “Lube, but no condoms?”  
  
“Ah- should’ve picked some up while I was on my way home,” Johnny said, flushing. How could he have forgotten he ran out of condoms?  
  
“You can’t get STDs, right?” Spidey murmured, hot and dark against his ear and Johnny wanted to whine.  
  
 _Please stop confusing my boner by talking about venereal disease with a sex voice!_ “R-right.”  
  
“Neither can I, so it’s fine, right?” Spidey tugged on Johnny’s earlobe with his teeth, pressing a slick finger against Johnny’s entrance, rubbing slow, intent circles. “C’mon, Johnny…”  
  
“Y-yeah, s’fine-” he cut off with a gasp as Spidey slipped a finger inside him, surprisingly gentle given the way Spidey had been man-handling him since he got naked, and Johnny _moaned_ . “ _Fuck me-- Spidey!_ ”  
  
“S’th’plan, pretty boy,” Spider-Man growled, biting the curve where Johnny’s neck met his shoulder as he pressed another finger inside, scissoring Johnny open. “You this eager for all your flings, or am I just special?”  
  
“ _So_ special,” Johnny said, just enough of a sarcastic edge to make Spidey think he was joking, even as he trailed off into a loud moan. A third finger had pressed in and Johnny lifted his hips, getting his knees under him as he reached down to stroke his dick.  
  
At least, that was his plan - Spider-Man gripped Johnny’s wrist tight, not enough to hurt but definitely enough to make a point. “No, that’s for me - if I let you go are you gonna grip the headboard like a good boy or do I have to web you there?”  
  
 _Can you do that anyway?_ Johnny almost asked, and instead tipped his head back to look at Spidey hotly over his shoulder. “When have I ever been a _good boy_ , Spidey?”  
  
And Spidey’s grin was wicked and wild and he curled his fingers in a way that had Johnny ready to threaten to set him on fire. “But you will be for me, right?”  
  
Johnny whined. “Yeah-yes yes, please- _Spidey, c’mon_.”  
  
“Grip the headboard, pretty boy.”  
  
Johnny gripped the headboard as Spidey removed his fingers. “Spidey-”  
  
And then Spidey’s cock was pressing inside him and Johnny _moaned_ , so loud he thought Reed could hear him down in the lab. Spidey had a possessive hand at Johnny's hip and the other pressed against the center of Johnny's chest, pulling Johnny up and back against Spidey’s chest. “Ah _fuck_ \- you feel so damn _good_ , pretty boy,” Spidey was practically growling against Johnny's ear. “So tight and sweet and hot all for me, aren't you?”  
  
“Spider-Man-!” Johnny gasped out as Spidey fucked up into him hard. “Oh _fuck yes!_ ”  
  
Spidey kept him pinned in place as he fucked him, growling in Johnny's ear about how good he felt, how hot he was inside, how sweet the way his hips moved was, and if Johnny didn't let himself think about it, he could almost believe Spidey loved him, almost believe this would end in a sweet, romantic kiss and two point five children and a house with a picket fence on the edge of Queens that was closer to Long Island than towards the rest of the city.  
  
Almost.  
  
But not quite.  
  
Spidey slid his hand from Johnny’s hip to stroke his dick and Johnny bit back an embarrassingly needy noise. “ _Ah-!_ ”  
  
“That's it, pretty boy, let's see what you look like when you come on my cock.”  
  
Honestly, it hadn't taken much after that, with Johnny coming all over Spidey’s hand and then Spidey growling in Johnny's ear as he fucked him hard, practically forcing the breath from Johnny's lungs with every thrust before he spilled deep inside him.  
  
Johnny slumped, gasping, and startling when he felt Spidey’s gentle touch on his hands. “Nnn?”  
  
“You can let go now, Johnny,” Spidey murmured, nipping Johnny's ear. “You were so good for me, Johnny. Such a good boy…”  
  
Johnny moaned and shuddered as Spidey pulled out of him and eased his fingers off the metal bar of his headboard one at a time. “Spidey…”  
  
Spider-Man massaged Johnny’s hands gently. “You gonna be okay?”  
  
“Hm? Oh - _yeah_ I’m good, don’t worry about me.” Johnny rolled over under him, smirking up at Spidey’s half-masked face. “Do _you_ feel better?”  
  
Spidey’s mouth quirked up in a smug half-smirk. Johnny wanted to kiss it off him, but fuckbuddies didn’t kiss.  
  
At least not queer ones.  
  
“Like a million bucks, Matchstick. You still want to do this again?”  
  
“Whenever you need,” Johnny said with a lazy wave of his hand.  
  
Spider-Man tilted his head curiously, then looked around. “Where’s your phone?”  
  
“Huh?” Johnny blinked at him, baffled. “Why do you need my phone?”  
  
“You need my number - that’s what friends with benefits do, right? This isn’t just about me needing someone to stick my dick in-” Thankfully he had bent over backwards to grab Johnny’s pants off the floor, so he missed Johnny’s wince. “-sometimes you’re gonna need to be fucked through your mattress, and we both can appreciate a little subtlety when it comes to that, as opposed to flaming messages in the sky, right?”  
  
Johnny nodded. “Yeah - the newspapers hate you enough, we don’t need ‘Spider-Man Turns Torch Flaming’ headlines.”  
  
“You saying I haven’t been the cause of more than a few sexual identity crises?”  
  
“I wouldn’t be surprised, but you certainly weren’t the cause of _mine_. I think that was Davy Crockett.”  
  
Spider-Man paused in putting his number into Johnny’s phone. “….king of the wild frontier Davy Crockett? Raccoon skin cap, wore a lot of leather? That one?”  
  
Johnny shrugged a shoulder. “We time-traveled.”  
  
“Is that why Dr. Richards won’t let you near the time portal?”  
  
Johnny huffed and flopped back among his pillows. “Shut up - I was sixteen, okay? It was Davy Crockett and Indiana Jones.”  
  
“Okay, Indiana Jones is not a real person.”  
  
“But Young Harrison Ford really did it for me. I mean, that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where he’s teaching and has those glasses on? _Unf_.”  
  
Spidey snorted. “Really, Torch?”  
  
“I like my men hot and nerdy. It’s a side effect of growing up around the academically inclined.”  
  
“Uh _huh_.”  
  
“Who was your big queer awakening, Webs?”  
  
“I will take that secret to my grave, thanks.” Spidey tossed Johnny back his phone. “You have my burner number in there now, with the spider emoji as my name because I know you. I sent myself a text, so I have your number, too and now I need to shower and get going, okay?”  
  
Johnny rolled over so his back was to Spider-Man and waved him off. “You do you, dude.”  
  
Normally, Johnny would’ve offered to share the shower - wash Spidey’s back for him, maybe his hair, too, and see if that Spider Strength and the ability to cling to walls worked under running water as they fucked again.  
  
But Spidey would never go for it, because then Johnny might see his face.  
  
Johnny closed his eyes as he heard his shower go on, and curled up more as he felt Spidey’s jizz slip down his thigh.  
  
He was still pretending to be asleep when Spider-Man got out of the shower, and listened to him getting dressed without opening his eyes. There was a long moment of silence, and then Johnny felt Spider-Man’s fingers brush Johnny’s hair from his face. “…sleep well, Johnny.”  
  
And with that, Spidey was out the window, and gone.  
  
Everything Johnny ever wanted, and not at all what he had hoped for.  
  
—  
  
And that’s how it went for years - Spidey would text Johnny when he was horny and single, and Johnny would do the same. Of course, they texted about other things, too, and sometimes Johnny would just text Spidey a picture of a bag of Shake Shack burgers from on top of the Statue of Liberty and soon enough, Spidey would be there, mask half up and him grinning at Johnny and saying he was the best, and Johnny would never, ever admit that those were moments he enjoyed almost as much as the sex.  
  
They were together on the crown of good ol’ Lady Liberty the first time Spidey kissed him, sitting together with their thighs pressed together as they watched fireworks get set off from someone’s yacht.  
  
“Seems like a waste of atmosphere to just sit here, you know?” he murmured in Johnny’s ear, and when Johnny had turned his head to ask him what the hell he was talking about, Spidey kissed him.  
  
 _Fireworks_.  
  
Spidey fucked him right there on the top of the Statue of Liberty, almost sweet and slow and no one around them for miles to catch a picture of them or to overhear Spidey’s low murmurs in Johnny’s ear of how Johnny was always so sweet for him, like his ass was made to be fucked by Spidey’s cock.  
  
All things that were just shit Spider-Man never meant, because Spidey couldn’t shut up, not even during sex, and it was all pillow talk.  
  
Meaningless.  
  
Johnny still came ( _hard_ , because Spider-Man could play his body like a damn fiddle), his shout of Spider-Man’s name drowned out by the distant whistle-pop of fireworks.  
  
They lay there in silence when it was over, Johnny on his back trying to catch his breath as Spidey rescued his tights from their precarious position on one of the crown spikes.  
  
It would’ve been the most romantic date Johnny had ever gone on, if it had been one.  
  
 _Why aren’t we dating?_ Johnny opened his mouth to ask, but instead what came out was “You can keep kissing me, you know.”  
  
Spidey froze in the middle of tugging on his boots. “Huh?”  
  
“The kissing. Doesn’t have to be a one time thing. I’m down for it.”  
  
“Good to know. Hey, did you see where my shirt went?”  
  
And that was that.  
  
But at least Spider-Man kept kissing him when they fucked.  
  
Small victories, right?  
  
—  
  
Peter Parker was not what anyone would call stunningly handsome. He was attractive in a plain and ordinary way, almost “boy next door” if you wanted to get a little teen movie about it.  
  
In other words, he had the type of face that you could look at, and then if told to describe him to a police sketch artist right after, nothing about him would’ve stuck out in your mind at all.  
  
Which is why it kind of ticked Johnny off, just a little, that he could pick him out in a crowd every time. Then again, if you only _just_ looked at Peter Parker, you couldn't tell that he was the guy who had been taking pictures of Spider-Man for years, and then turning around and selling them to that garbage rag, The Daily Bugle.  
  
Once you knew _that_ , he became a whole lot more noticeable.  
  
(Spidey told him to let it go, that he couldn't blame Parker for needing to put food on the table, or pay rent. Johnny still smoked when he saw the latest headline calling Spidey a criminal menace, and “photos by Peter Parker” printed under a stunningly impossible shot of Spider-Man.)  
  
So he noticed when he was at the same fancy party he was at with the other members of the Fantastic Four, only with a camera around his neck and wearing a nice, if cheap suit (always the same suit). And he noticed when some(all) of the best shots in the papers of him and the rest of his team had been shot by Parker. And he noticed that he went out of his way to annoy Johnny, even when he interned with Reed for that little while because of course on top of being a pain in the ass to his friend, Peter Parker was also a certified genius who shouldn't have had to waste his time taking really great pictures to sell to J. Jonah Jameson when he could just do it as a hobby and be a scientist as an actual career.  
  
The point was Peter Parker was _basically_ the bane of Johnny’s existence.  
  
‘I get that he’s your whatever the fuck he is,’ Johnny texted Spider-Man furiously. ‘But if that Parker jackass crashes another one of my dates, I’m setting his hair on fire.’  
  
Parker had, in fact, come up to Johnny’s date and cheerfully flirted with her like Johnny wasn’t even there to be flirted with, too.  
  
Not that he actually _wanted_ Parker to flirt with him, really, but it would’ve been nice.  
  
And then, _of course_ , in his flirting Parker had _somehow_ managed to say the wrong thing - which Johnny was _positive_ was on purpose, because Parker looked a little too sharp and pointed, unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t really know him the way Johnny did, to have been so nasty by accident - and then she was gone, leaving Parker to look innocently at Johnny and ask “was it something I said?” before he shrugged and walked away whistling.  
  
 _Asshole_.  
  
‘What did he do?’  
  
‘Wrecked my date! She told me she was just gonna get a cab home and when I offered to pay for it she told me not to bother. I’ll be lucky if she even speaks to me again! Fuck it, whatever, I’m getting a drink.’  
  
‘You want me to come get you?’  
  
Johnny snorted at his phone as he made his way to the bar. ‘What, you’re gonna crash a fancy party and swing my drunk ass home?’  
  
‘I was hoping to get to fuck your drunk ass. Least I could do, since Parker ruined your date and all.’  
  
Johnny paused, staring down at his phone as he weighed his options. ‘I can meet you there instead without getting a drink.’  
  
‘Deal. See you in twenty minutes.’  
  
Johnny turned on his heel and left, thoughts of getting drunk all but forgotten.  
  
And if he had driven a little fast, well, Spidey _had_ said twenty minutes.  
  
When he got back to the Baxter Building, Spider-Man pounced on him as soon as he entered his room, fucking him against his door with his suit half hanging off him as Spidey practically turned Johnny’s throat into one giant hickey and left bruises in the shape of his hands on Johnny’s thighs.  
  
“ _Spidey-_ ” Johnny moaned, panting against his mask where Spider-Man’s ear should’ve been. “ _Fuck_ , I can’t- I’m gonna-!”  
  
“That’s it, Pretty, come for me without a hand on your cock because my dick is just, that, _good_.”  
  
Johnny came with a yell, shivering through the aftershocks of it as Spidey growled ‘ _good boy_ ’ in his ear and thrust into him so hard Johnny was scared they were gonna break right through his door.  
  
“Johnny,” Spidey moaned as he kissed him, hot and messy and mostly tongue. “I wanna come on your face…”  
  
“My face…?”  
  
“Yeah, please, Johnny?”  
  
Johnny nodded, dazed, as Spidey pulled out and set him down, keeping a hand on him even as Johnny sank to his knees - Johnny doubted he could stay standing at all, after that. Johnny leaned forward, licking a hot, wet line up Spidey’s cock from balls to tip before he tilted his face up and let his eyes close.  
  
“ _Fuck…_ ” Spider-Man hissed, jerking his dick as he came in hot spurts across Johnny’s face, over his cheeks and lips, across his nose - he was pretty sure some of it got in his hair. “Oh look at you… makes me wish I brought my camera.”  
  
Johnny felt a little drunk, the best kind of drunk, as he licked his lips and cleaned them free of Spider-Man’s jizz. “You take photos, Spidey?”  
  
“I would of this, Torch.”  
  
Johnny leaned forward to lick at the head of Spidey’s still hard cock, and he could only imagine what he looked like that Spidey wanted a picture of it. “Maybe next time Parker ruins one of my dates.”  
  
“….yeah. Maybe.”  
  
—  
  
If Johnny could pick Peter Parker out of a crowd before, he was running into him absolutely _everywhere_ now - out getting coffee, at his favorite cafe for lunch, even out shopping with Sue! There was Parker around every corner, being his annoyingly attractive self that Johnny couldn’t decide if he wanted to deck the guy or make out with him.  
  
‘I think Parker is stalking me,’ He texted Spidey, sipping his venti iced mocha frappuccino. ‘It feels like every time I turn around he’s in my goddamned face.’  
  
‘It’s a pretty face, Torch, you should be pleased you have so ardent an admirer.’  
  
Johnny scowled and sent Spidey a line of unhappy emoji faces as he picked at his scone. ‘Peter Parker can admire me from afar like the rest of the paparazzi.’  
  
‘Harsh.’  
  
‘I’m serious, Spidey - I don’t get what his deal is! If he’s trying to be friendly, he has a weird ass way of showing it, because chasing off my dates and insulting my intelligence doesn’t exactly make someone my favorite person.’  
  
‘I insult your intelligence all the time.’  
  
 _Yeah, but that’s you,_ Johnny almost typed. ‘You stopped meaning it like that a long time ago.’ Johnny sent instead.  
  
‘Ehh…’  
  
‘If you ever want me to suck your dick again, you would best consider your next words very carefully, wallcrawler.’  
  
‘I’m just teasing you, Firefly.’  
  
‘Better.’ Johnny huffed, annoyed, and sipped his drink again. ‘I swear to God, though if he fucking bothers me again-’ he started to type.  
  
“Hey there.”  
  
Johnny nearly fumbled his phone in surprise at Parker’s voice, coming from right behind him and next to his ear. “ _Gah!_ ”  
  
Parker laughed and slid into the seat across from Johnny’s with a grin that Johnny told himself did _not_ give him butterflies in his gut. “Sorry, sorry.”  
  
“You’re not sorry at all,” Johnny muttered, turning off his phone’s screen and setting it, pointedly, face down on the table. “What do you want, Parker?”  
  
“What, I can’t come say hi to a friend?”  
  
“We’re friends?” Johnny asked, voice dry.  
  
“Well, we don’t _hate_ each other.” At Johnny’s arched eyebrow, Parker gave an exaggerated wince. “Ouch…”  
  
“You realize you’re just barely a step up from the paparazzi in my book, right?”  
  
“So… what does a fella have to do to rank a little higher, in your book?”  
  
Johnny stared at him for a long moment. “…are you _hitting on me_?”  
  
“Why, is it working?”  
  
Johnny grabbed his phone and got to his feet. “I’m not staying here for this. Listen good, jackass, because I’m only telling you this _once_ \- you want to ‘rank a little higher’ as you call it? _Stop wrecking my dates_ . Stop treating me like _shit_ and then turn around to try and be charming at me because _believe me_ I have _already_ been with someone like that and I’m not falling for it again. And if you _really_ want my attention so badly, stop behaving like an emotionally stunted _child_ to get it!”  
  
Parker blinked at him, baffled. “Um-”  
  
Johnny stalked off, only half regretting that he left his drink behind.  
  
Parker could fucking _have it,_ for all he cared.  
  
—  
  
It probably said something bad that Johnny couldn’t remember what the gala he and the rest of the Four were at was even _for_ , but he was _bored out of his skull_.  
  
‘Help me, Spider-Man, I’m in the clutches of the most boring party ever.’  
  
‘Wish I could help - I’m currently trapped at a thing for my _paying_ full time job - if I try to bail out now I’ll get fired.’  
  
‘Awww, poor Spidey! Want me to send you a dick pick to give you strength?’  
  
Someone around one of the other tables let out a muffled cough. _Same, dude_ , Johnny thought. _I think this one guy has been giving a speech for over an hour now and hasn’t said anything of substance_.  
  
His phone buzzed silently, and Johnny stealth checked it.  
  
‘I think there’s a document somewhere that has particularly harsh things to say about “cruel and unusual punishment”, Sparky.’  
  
Johnny grinned, then shot Sue a guilty look as she cleared her throat pointedly at him. He looked down at his phone again. ‘Sorry not sorry, webhead. Okay, gtg - I need to at least pretend to pay attention to this windbag. Hopefully he finishes his speech or passes out soon so I can go stand at the bar looking lonely so someone buys me a drink.’  
  
‘Your life is one of endless suffering, clearly.’  
  
‘Yeah, well. I gotta be me.’  
  
Johnny shut the screen off and slipped his phone back into his pocket with a heavy sigh.  
  
There was a guy with dark hair who caught Johnny’s eye from the next table and gave him a slow, wolfish smile, and Johnny found himself smiling back before he returned his attention to the stage.  
  
Maybe the night wasn’t a wash after all.  
  
—  
  
Once the speeches were over, Johnny made his way to the bar, hoping that Handsome and Dark Haired would follow.  
  
“Can I get you a drink?” A warm, smooth accented voice said behind him and Johnny turned and grinned.  
  
 _Right on time._ “Absolutely.”  
  
“Right then,” The fellow lifted his hand and it was almost as though the bartender teleported over to take the guy’s order. “Two bourbon old fashioneds, if you please. My friend here seems like the kind of man who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, I want to see if it’s true.”  
  
Johnny smirked. “And what better way than an old fashioned?”  
  
“Exactly.” The guy smiled at him and Johnny smiled back, but while this guy was handsome - taller than him with nice shoulders and a head of thick, dark hair Johnny kind of wanted to bury his fingers in to see if it was as silky as it looked - he wasn’t Spider-Man.  
  
 _Pathetic_.  
  
Johnny accepted his drink from the bartender with a nod and he flashed the other fellow a bright grin and plucked his cherry from his glass before popping it in his mouth and, with the ease of long practice, tied the stem into a neat little knot. He crunched down on the cherry itself as he took the stem from his mouth and presented it. “Do I pass muster?”  
  
“I dare say you do.” The man smiled at Johnny, his eyes heavy lidded and dark as he rested a hand on Johnny’s thigh. “I wonder what else you can do with that tongue of yours.”  
  
Johnny sipped his drink. “Well, maybe you’ll-”  
  
“ _Johnny_ ,” Parker said, coming out of nowhere like the damn plague on Johnny’s life he was. “There you are, I need to talk to you.”  
  
Johnny debated throwing his drink in Parker’s face, but thought of what Sue would do to him if he caused a scene like that, and sighed. “What is it?”  
  
“I need to talk to you. _Alone_. Without your _new friend_.” Parker glared at the man like _he_ was the one with fire abilities, his grip on Johnny’s arm getting almost painfully tight.  
  
“This will only take a minute, I’m sorry,” Johnny said to the man, and then let out a muffled noise of surprise as Parker practically _yanked_ him from his barstool and half-dragged him away from the bar and toward a utility closet. “ _What the actual fuck is your problem?!_ ” He snapped, glaring at Parker’s back as he locked the door behind them.  
  
“He was _touching you_.” Parker whirled around to glower at Johnny, his camera swinging dangerously where it hung from his neck. “You _let him!_ ”  
  
“Yeah, _and_?”  
  
“What the _actual fuck, Johnny?!_ ”  
  
“Did you hit your head?” Johnny snapped. “Or have you finally and completely lost your damn _mind_? Since when do you have _any say_ in about who I _let_ touch me, in who I spend _my time_ with? What gives you the _damn right_ -”  
  
Parker snarled, backing Johnny up against the shelves of the closet as he kissed him, hard and hungry and demanding. It was all Johnny could do to kiss him back, clutching at Parker’s - _Peter’s_ \- upper arms.  
  
 _I know this kiss_ , Johnny thought distantly as Peter dragged his mouth away from Johnny’s and along his jaw. _This… this is_ … “Spidey?”  
  
Peter froze. “…I. Uh.”  
  
“ _Oh my fucking god_.” Johnny pushed at Peter - _Spider-Man, fucking hell!_ \- to look him in the face. “You-you- _this whole fucking time?!_ ”  
  
“Er-”  
  
“This whole time it was _you_? Wrecking my dates, behaving like an asshole, and then, what, putting on the webs to meet me back at my place so we could fuck?”  
  
“…technically I’m _already wearing_ most of the-”  
  
“ _Parker_ ,” Johnny warned, and Peter ran a hand through his hair.  
  
“It’s weird that _that’s_ what you’re pissed off by,” He muttered. “I just - it was supposed to be a friendly thing, between us, and I thought I could _keep_ it friendly, you know? But then my last girlfriend helped me realize something that, when I thought about it, was _really obvious_ . And… and I _stopped_ being able to keep it friendly.”  
  
“What.” Johnny asked, flat, because this wasn’t happening. There was _no way this was actually happening right now_.  
  
“Johnny, I love you. I love you and the sight of you with other people just - I hate it. I hate it because it should be me and-”  
  
Johnny kissed him.  
  
Peter kissed him back, so sweet and soft and tender Johnny almost wanted to cry. _This. This this this_. _This_ had been what he wanted. “You're an idiot, I hope you know that.”  
  
“Hm?” Peter swung his camera so it rested behind his back and he could press closer to Johnny. “I mean, I’m sure you're right, but why am I an idiot?”  
  
“I’ve been in love with you for years, Spidey. Literally since before we started this arrangement.”  
  
“But you hate Peter Parker.”  
  
“When he's insulting my dates and treating me like shit in some weird sort of negging thing to get me to fuck his alter ego, yeah, I don't like him much.”  
  
Peter winced. “I don't-”  
  
Johnny’s phone vibrated in his pants and caused them both to jump in shock.  
  
'where tf are you?’ a text from Sue read. 'some guy you were talking to at the bar drank your drink and left w/I think Black Widow.’  
  
'i’m making out with Peter Parker in the utility closet and we're gonna run away and get married in Atlantic City.’  
  
'If you have to get casino married, hold out for Vegas, little bro.’ and then 'wait, don't you hate that guy?’  
  
'we’re working out our differences.’  
  
'good, I guess? Please put your clothes back on and take it back home - his place or ours, I don't care. Ben and I are watching Reed be oblivious about the rich old hag - you know, the one you said looked like Cruella DeVil if she had gone after Pomeranians and not Dalmatians? - trying to get him into a threesome with her and her husband.’  
  
Peter snorted, reading over Johnny's shoulder. “She really does look like she killed and skinned six small yappy dogs for that wrap.”  
  
“Right? Makes me want to do PETA adverts except PETA is garbage,” Johnny said as he texted Sue back 'she does realize he's married to *you*, right?’  
  
'I think she wants it to be like a patron of the arts thing, only with science.’  
  
'have we considered the possibility that she's evil?’  
  
'Crimes of fashion are not true acts of evil, Johnny, we talked about this.’ a beat. Two. 'oh this bitch did just fucking not. I’m gonna get a drink that will leave a nice stain from the bar, you should go while everyone is distracted.’  
  
Johnny shared a look with Peter. “We’ll wait until the screaming starts and then run for it?”  
  
Peter made a face. “JJ would want pictures of Sue Storm throwing her drink at an old woman for hitting on her husband.”  
  
Johnny sighed. “Three pictures. Then we can go.”  
  
Peter kissed him. “...so were you serious about the getting married thing, or-?”  
  
“Go get your pictures, we’ll talk about everything else at home.”  
  
Peter grinned at him - how could he not have noticed that before, that Peter Parker and Spidey had that same grin? - and hurried out of the utility closet.  
  
Johnny counted to twenty, and got back to the main ballroom just as Sue threw her drink on the old woman - something large and froofy in a lurid red color that landed right on the Pomeranian Queen’s fur stole - and the screaming started as she started to spark.  
  
Peter got more than three pictures, but that was fine - after ten quick shots he hurried over to Johnny and they made their exit just as Captain America tackled the old lady to the ground.   
  
\--  
  
Peter held Johnny's hand, pinkie fingers linked together the entire elevator ride up to the main living area of the Four, and Johnny was more than a little embarrassed that he was blushing because of it.  
  
Such a simple gesture, and yet.  
  
“I don't suppose I can convince you to forget the talking part and just fuck you on the sofa, right?” At Johnny’s scathing glare, Peter looked sheepish. “Thought so. Was hoping otherwise, but thought so.”  
  
“I just think we've had enough non-communication between us, don't you?”  
  
Peter gave his hand a squeeze. “Yeah.” Peter sat, and tugged Johnny into his lap. “Johnny, I _am_ sorry.”  
  
“For which? The asshole behaviour toward my dates, the weird negging shit you did to me so that I’d sleep with your alter ego, the lying about your feelings for me?”  
  
“Okay, I wasn't lying to you about my feelings for the entire time we had our friends with benefits thing going because I didn't know I _had_ feelings. I mean, I knew I had feelings but I didn't know what they were right away?”  
  
“Because you're an idiot.”  
  
“Feelings are _hard_ , okay?!” Peter scowled. “I didn't realize the reason that I hated everyone you dated was because _I_ wanted to date you! Not until MJ pointed it out, anyway.”  
  
“I’ll send her thank you flowers later.” Johnny sighed, resting his head against Peter's. “Pete, why were you an asshole to me?”  
  
“I can't even tell you. It just… was a pattern. You and the Peter Parker me never really got on, but you and Spidey got on like a house on fire, if you’ll pardon the expression. So, Peter is an asshole, you turn to Spidey and I generally got to fuck you into a better mood, because I was trying to come up with _excuses_ to, you know, _be_ with you.”  
  
“Which leads us back to the whole 'you’re an idiot’ thing.”  
  
“I understand that _now_ , yes.”  
  
Johnny sighed, nuzzling Peter’s temple. “...yes, I was serious about the married thing.”  
  
Peter grinned up at him, and the next thing Johnny knew he was on his back and Peter was braced on his hands above Johnny, settling between his legs. “Baby, it's like you can read my mind.”  
  
Johnny laughed, wrapping his arms around Peter’s shoulders. “I _was_ kidding about the casino marriage, though.”  
  
“Damn. I was hoping to get married by white jumpsuit Elvis.”  
  
“ _Absolutely not._ ”  
  
Peter kissed him, nipping at Johnny’s lower lip. “We could let my Aunt May and Sue plan the wedding - it’ll give them something to think about other than killing us for wanting to get married without technically dating first.”  
  
“Mmm. Good plan.” Johnny kissed him. “So, before I let you take me to bed, I want an honest answer out of you.”  
  
Peter sat back on his heels, lifting Johnny up with him with his hands in a weirdly possessive spread over Johnny’s hips and ass. “Okay.”  
  
“Who was the person who made you realize you liked dudes?”  
  
Peter flushed. “You. Back in highschool. I, uh, had a poster of you that I jerked off to.”  
  
“Aww, babe,” Johnny cooed. “That's so embarrassing for you!”  
  
“Bite me,” Peter muttered.  
  
Johnny grinned, leaning in to bite gently just under the hinge of Peter's jaw before pressing a kiss to it. “It's okay, sweetheart, I get it, I’m hot.”  
  
Peter growled, shifting them closer just as Johnny's phone buzzed in his pants. “Okay, seriously? I’m getting a little worried about the buzzing pants thing.”  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes as he dug his phone out of his pockets to see a text from Sue.  
  
'you were right. Cruella DeVil, Death Of Pomeranians was evil.’  
  
Johnny smirked as he relayed that to Peter, who tipped his head back to laugh, showing off the line of his throat that made Johnny want to bite him. 'Told you - anyone who looks *that* tacky is evil.’  
  
‘She hid a mind-control device in her furs that shorted out when I threw the drink at her. She wanted Reed to build her something to amplify the thing’s power.’  
  
Peter frowned. “Was Reed gonna have to wear the dead dog stole the entire time he worked for her? Because Reed isn't the kind of guy who can pull off the dead furry animal look.”  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes. “I guess it will have to remain one of life's little mysteries, Pete, because I really don't want to ask.”  
  
“I can't get the mental image out of my head. Oh god, I can’t unsee it-”  
  
Johnny kissed him. “Reminder that as soon as I finish talking to my sister, you get to rip my clothes off and web me to the headboard.”  
  
Peter blinked up at him. “Wait, really?”  
  
Johnny nodded. “Just gimmie a second, okay?”  
  
Peter nodded, slowly undoing the knot in Johnny's bowtie as Johnny texted his sister back with 'awesome. I was serious about Peter and I getting hitched. Help me plan my wedding later, okay?’  
  
‘Wait, what?’  
  
‘Love you!’  
  
His phone buzzed with another text, probably from his sister, but Johnny dropped his phone on the couch as Peter scooped him up and carried him to the bedroom.  
  
Getting webbed to the headboard? _Just_ as awesome as he thought it would be.  
  
As for being married to Peter?  
  
Everything Johnny ever wanted, and _everything_ he had hoped for.

**Author's Note:**

> Any edits to this thing made after July 24, 2017 are just gonna be fixing the formatting if posting from my phone messes it up somehow.


End file.
